Madame Askew and The Grand Arbiter

Originally posted to our Patreon

I am delighted  to introduce Igor, Professor of Scratching Posts. Igor was born into a family of scientific kitties. (Cousins to Schrodinger’s kitty, but as they are quick to remind everyone, distant cousins.) He fell strongly on the side of mad science even as a young kitty. Like his litter-mates, he was always keen to act as an observer of the natural world and to hypothesize on the laws of physics, unlike his siblings, the laws of gravity and action vs reaction were never sufficient to his curiosity! 

After challenging his parents’ sanity on a daily basis throughout kittenhood, Igor went to work as the henchkitty for none other than Professor Viktor Von Katze. Von Katze, who specialized in kitten enrichment devices, was a well known proponent for meddling with the natural laws of the universe and for training some of the most devilishly keen henchkitties. He and Igor were soon inseparable, and together they created some of the most fiendishly effective puzzles, training towers, and obstacle courses for cats and other mascot animals who were in training to become assistants and henchpets for mad scientists everywhere.

Igor was never happier than when he was engaging in testing of new experimental devices and Professor Von Katze was so content with his feline companion that some of the scientists in the Villains and Mad Scientists guild whispered that he was losing all signs of his nefarious genius. Some of them even claimed that Igor had turned Viktor into a proponent of…kindness. Regardless of such libelous rumors, their partnership remained legendary even after the unfortunate catnip explosion that leveled the laboratory.  

Igor has now gone onto his forever haunt where he no doubt continues to test the bounds of gravity as well as other, various laws of physics. Frequently he leaves the faint outlines of complicated calculus equations on window pains and mirrors, and when his humans lean a little to the mad scientist side, Igor is there, ready to help in his ghostly way and to remind them that testing the bounds of the natural world is all well and good but they should still strive to be kind. 

Three cheers for the marvelous Igor!